On Saturday afternoon I got a call from my kids mother @camraface as she was exiting the Trader Joe’s one block from my house. She was frantic saying a gunman just ran his car into the building and started shooting. I told her to run to the parking lot and get in her car immediately and I’ll be right there. I got off my couch, got dressed and sprinted down the street as fast as humanely possible. When I found Jennifer, I just grabbed her and held her as we watched hundreds of people form a mini city with police, journalists, fire departments and federal agents around us. It was surreal and mind blowing and one of the most terrifying situations I’ve ever been in. Our friend @artagee who Jennifer was with was inside and being held hostage. I stayed strong and was communicating with her trying to calm her down and just be cool, calm and collected. Her brother @artonarton was in NYC and I was doing my best to assure him that everything was going to be ok, but to be 100% honest I didn’t know if everything was going to be ok. I was mentally preparing for the worst. The triage units were setting up next to us, snipers were coming in suiting up for war, helicopters were over head, bomb squad trucks were going in. The only way to really describe it was pure insanity, one block from my home and two blocks from my kids school. The thing that breaks me into a million pieces, and I can’t shake from my head was the little girl we were watching over whose mom was in there, she was alone and petrified just staring into space. I couldn’t find the words to comfort her other than everything is going to be alright. The father next to me whose two kids were in there sitting next to us just paralyzed, I just put my hand on his shoulder, I couldn’t say anything to him, the pain I felt for him was paralyzing. And Arton, Arta’s brother in NYC. He texted me “I can’t live without my sister.” That single sentence has been ringing over and over in my head for three days straight and breaks me in half. I felt helpless. All I wanted to do was make sure that Arton would not live without his sister, this little girl got reunited with her mother and this father was able to hug his kids again. But we were given no information, just sitting there helpless and blind. After three hours Arta somehow faked to the suspect that she was someone’s daughter and he released her with her “mom”. I didn’t think this day would have the effect on me it’s having. I was in survival mode and focused on helping as best as I knew how to. Once Arta was released we walked to my house and sat in my living room going over what had just happened. Everything seemed fine but that night all this started hitting me. What would have happened if Jennifer and Arta didn’t make it out? How would I explain this to my babies and her brother? The next day was worse and today is not any better. It’s an emotional emptiness I feel in my chest. I drove by there this afternoon and felt slight panic. I went into the Gelson’s across the street for breakfast with my son and couldn’t help but analyze everyone. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. This could possibly be the worst nightmare I’ve ever had. If you know me you know that Trader Joe’s is my second home. I love to cook for people, I shop for one meal at a time so I can go back there every day and see what’s new and fresh and exchange smiles with the staff. The employees have always been the kindest, most amazing people in this neighborhood, it’s a community inside that store and to know we lost one of them to this senseless violence pains me. This neighborhood has been our home for 10 years, it’s Los Angeles but we’re Silver Lake.